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Friday, June 23rd, 2006
3:15 am
i'm missing stuff already...

fuck moving out, man, i don't wanna go back to living with my parents!


i'm quite glad i've got faaaaairly drunk & stoned on my last night as a first year undergraduate though. INNIT MAYTE.

xx

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
3:01 am - for jason.
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel

Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go

Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you


current mood: melancholy

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Friday, May 5th, 2006
1:40 am
i don't actually remember writing the last entry,

but it's still true.

fuck y'all.

[ don't wake me up when i am dead ]

1:32 am
i'm way too drunk and i feel like shit. that is all.

current mood: pissed off

[ don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Thursday, May 4th, 2006
10:17 pm
hiiiiiiiiiii

[ don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
2:10 am
what the FUCK.

that is sick. so fucking wrong. boys don't cry breaks my heart.

current mood: sad

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Friday, April 14th, 2006
3:15 am
super lame survey because i'm bored and it's 3am.Collapse )

current mood: bored/sleepy

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Saturday, February 18th, 2006
1:30 pm


well thank fuck for that, no more emo hair.

rrrrrock.Collapse )


current mood: alright

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
5:43 am
it was probably not a good idea to take ephedrine right before i was intending to go to bed. ho hum.

philosophical reasoning seminar at 11am :( :(

ps. this is clearly true because it is now six thirty and all i've done is play gta whilst listening to the bravery :( how fucking GAY

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Monday, December 5th, 2005
8:10 am
It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul,--
Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars!--
It is the cause. Yet I'll not shed her blood;
Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow,
And smooth as monumental alabaster.
Yet she must die, else she'll betray more men.
Put out the light, and then put out the light.

[ don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Thursday, November 24th, 2005
11:49 am
funeral for a friend, why are you so fucking good?

ps. my essay is going quite well now. 900ish words.

current mood: better

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
1:33 pm
to any science fiction geeks out there...

recommend me some books! i love both old school stuff (john wyndham, for instance) and newer stuff (the ender series by orson scott card is my favourite ever ever ever).

so, recommend me some authors/books!

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
8:23 pm
...i think i'm packing in this journal.

might continue with the other lj i have, might create another. i dunno.

all i know is i'm about to wipe the slate clean. i'm not the same person i was last year and i feel almost no affinity at all with the people i used to call my friends. in fact, the opposite, and i cannot be bothered to hang around and try to fix friendships that just won't be fixed. so what can you do.

my real friends know who they are, of course.



anyway. off to gym now to vent some frustration. not sure if i'm gonna hit the weights, my muscles are still fucking sore.

toodles.


sidenote: i've been using dietpower to log exercise/food etc. and it appears i only eat about 900 calories per day if i'm left to my own devices :| crazy. i didn't think it was that little..

current mood: irritated

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
10:27 pm
i've been thinking about uni. first i was really excited, and then i got kinda scared/depressed. provided i get in, i'm going to moving away from all my friends, my area, everything i know. i hadn't anticipated being attached, but i am. what the fuck do i do? i look screwed either way. brighton is only an hour or two away.. but is that any way to live a uni life, constantly looking back to london to make me happy? but on the other hand, if me and j break up (fuck i do not like to think about this) i'll probably be depressed for a while and in no real state to tackle uni, making new friends etc.

i dunno. this is kinda fucking with my head. i wish there was an easy solution.


i want my boy :(

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Thursday, March 10th, 2005
8:33 pm
ohh god. the pool kicked my arse! i'm so unfit it's beyond laughable. i got out and thought i was going to pass out, haha. that's what i get for speeding my brains out, i suppose. actually, it's probably not even the drugs - most likely the fact that my body is being forced to live off bodyfat composed of utter crap. bad fuel and all that. oh well! *flexes* i'm all sore now, but it's good sore... but i doubt it will be good sore in the morning. regardless... *crosses fingers for nine stone*

ryaaaaan. what is your new number? and are you coming down to london soon? i haven't seen you in tiiiime.

current mood: weary

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Friday, January 28th, 2005
11:23 pm
I GOT INTO NOTTINGHAM UNI!

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Monday, December 6th, 2004
6:01 pm


emo superstars. you love it.

get down with our bad selves. ohyeah. [+8]Collapse )


current mood: emo

[ don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
4:21 pm
silly people, leaving their wireless networks open... *glee*

current mood: on the bus

[ don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
1:35 pm
how novel. i'm sitting on the bus updating from my laptop. stupid people leaving their wireless networks open...

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
10:47 pm
hugz to all feeling down :(

...i still haven't even started my chaucer essay. good god, i'm going to die. F

[ just remember what i said + don't wake me up when i am dead ]

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